The C word

This is the first in an occasional blog by Rhonda and David - parents of Mark with thoughts and comments about his health and ways we're trying to deal with it.

Learning that our son has something in his body that shouldn't be there - an alien invader - made me think.  Four years ago my side of the family had been untouched by the nasty C.

Then in late 2011 or early 2012, Dad said he was diagnosed with a form of leukemia.  He died in June.  Mom died in June 2015 of pancreatic cancer.  Now, our son is facing it.

It made me think about a lot of things.

As a sports fan I thought about ESPN.  Really.  They created a sports awards programs more than 20 years ago called the ESPYs.  In its second year, the show honored Coach Jim Valvano with the Arthur Ashe Courage Award and he delivered one of the most memorable speeches of recent vintage.

In 2014, one of ESPN's own, anchor Stuart Scott received the same award for his fight that claimed his life in 2015.  I've highlighted a couple of special sentences from a portion of his speech:

I listened to what Jim Valvano said 21 years ago. The most poignant seven words ever uttered in any speech anywhere. “Don’t give up, don’t ever give up”. Those great people didn’t. Coach Valvano didn’t. So, to be honored with this, I now have a responsibility to also not ever give up.

I’m not special. I just listened to what the man said. I listened to all that he said, everything that he asked of us. And that’s to build the V Foundation. And – and let me tell you, man, it works. I’m talking tangible benefits. You saw me in that clinical trial. Now, here’s a thing about that. Coach Valvano’s words 21 years ago helping me and thousands of people like me, right now, direct benefits, that’s why all of this, why we’re here tonight, that’s why it’s so important. I also realized something else recently. You heard me kind of allude to it in the piece. I said, “I’m not losing. I’m still here, I’m fighting. I’m not losing.” But I’ve gotta amend that. When you die, that does not mean that you lose to cancer. You beat cancer by how you live, why you live and in the manner in which you live.”

So, live. Live. Fight like hell. And when you get too tired to fight then lay down and rest and let somebody else fight for you. That’s also very, very important. I can’t do this “don’t give up” thing all by myself. I’ve got thousands of people on Twitter and on the streets who encourage me.

Mark's fight will be like that, I suspect.  He'll fight and work and do all he can.  But it's more than him. I take comfort in knowing the Lord is with him, providing strength and comfort and peace during a tough time.  And comfort in the many encouragers around Mark who will support him in their own way along every step.

We'll know about the direction of this journey.  Today is another in series of medical procedures to determine what's next.   

So, life goes on.

David

Proud to be His Parents

I’m one of the lucky moms.

I get a phone call nearly every day around 3 p.m.

It’s my kid in Indianapolis who just calls to “check in,” you know, to make sure I’m okay.

I’ll admit that some days I have taken his calls for granted. I can’t count the number of times I’ve said to my husband: “Can you get that? It’s Mark. I have nothing new to say.”

I should feel fortunate to receive a call every day. I know that, and yet I’m still selfish. Sometimes I just don’t feel like talking . . . or trying to find my phone in my purse . . . yet again . . . before the ringing stops.  

Yesterday I had a different kind of call . . . of the WAKE UP variety.

Our 25-year-old son had just been diagnosed with lymphoma.

Our 25-year-old son has tumors throughout his body.

Our 25-year-old son has an enlarged spleen and is so exhausted he can hardly get through each day.

Did you catch that our son is 25?

He hasn’t been feeling well for several months. We’ve known. He has been to many doctors. He’s had all kinds of tests and procedures, but his nameless affliction persisted.

For far too long I’ve been hearing: “I’m just so tired.” “I just don’t feel well.” “I can hardly eat.” “I just want to sleep.” “My body hurts.” I was answering the phone with “How are you feeling?” rather than “Hello.”

A few years back our son started having horrendous headaches. Then came the blackouts followed by more headaches. We thought Mark might have to drop out of college. He stuck it out.  He made it through. He is now successfully employed in a career he enjoys.

He’s made us very proud.

Remember, I’m the Mom here. I’m entitled to say things like that.

Even with the headaches hammering him each day, Mark got into his chosen field, starting on the bottom rung of a large insurance company in the call center. He has moved up quickly. Now, he’s in management and the youngest ever hired into his current position.  

What about that wouldn’t make any parent proud?

We brag about Mark and his accomplishments constantly. Yep, I think I have become one of “those” moms.  And, nope, I’m not going to apologize for it.

But now . . . Cancer!

Like a lot of couples married 30 years, my husband and I have faced some battles . . . but we’ve fought side by side — and won.

It’s not in our family’s DNA to give up. Cancer won’t change that.

Several family members, from both sides of our marriage certificate, have succumbed to cancer — one just eight weeks ago.

But WE WILL NOT LET this ugly beast take our son.

Cancer is in for the fight of a lifetime.

And WE WILL WIN.

Mark is scheduled for a bone marrow biopsy on Friday afternoon — ironically, at 3 p.m.

So, no call from the kid that day.

Lucky mom that I am, I won’t need a phone to talk to our son.

I’ll be standing right next to him.

Rhonda

This is the first in an occasional blog by Rhonda and David - parents of Mark with thoughts and comments about his health and ways we're trying to deal with it.